2 blogs. 1 day.

I think this is the best day I've had all year.
Just Brent and the dogs and a gallon of light green paint.
Our kitchen is a pale creamy green, and our bathroom the same.
And my elbows and fingernails match.

I am 10 feet from brent.
Facing him.
I am writing and he is singing and playing guitar.
The dogs are curled at my feet and my hip.
And I am astounded at how peaceful I feel right now.

Lately I've been battling anxiety.
More than I've had in a long while.
And I always try to think mind over matter
and bring myself down from the brink,
but still, they've been happening when I least expect it.
In the bed at 11pm, during breakfast, or just when I'm driving and stopped at a red light.

As soon as my mind has an inch of time to spare,
I'd start worrying. Consumed by what ifs.

Right now I'm reading a book
that's teaching me to let go.
To follow what this big world holds for me
and stop worrying about the future and just
really enjoy what is right in front of me , right now.

And that's what I'm doing at this moment.
I am enjoying the smokey voice of my husband
and the mellow sounds of his guitar.
I feel the warmth of my dogs curled into me.
And oh the joy I find in putting these words down.

I think this is the biggest thing I've ever done in my life.
Well, besides getting married.
That was probably the biggest.
But this is a close second.
I am days and days and miles away from anyone who can save me.
In this city, all I have is twelve foot ceilings, and my husband, and God.
And today, like the tide washes the sand clean,
I realized that I have all I need to be made new again.

Later I'm going to find a good place to do a handstand.
Just to make the day complete.

M